Last Update: 09 January 2006

Time: 4:39 p .m. EST
Date: 09 January 2006
Reading: Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography by Dominic Grossan
Hearing: My new song
Inspiration: Out of the Blue

Entry: Phonecall

This afternoon I recieved an unexpected yet delightful call from my brother James in TX. I vented to him a bit about a conversation held in my mother-in-law's driveway last evening, and then we graduated to the more timely conversation about music and his arrival in NC in the very near future. We talked for nearly an hour and a half, and I enjoyed every minute of it! I think we're getting to the same page with the conceptualization of our music together. We know it won't be all cake and icing, but I look forward to the challenge and know that we will make wonderful music together.

Yesterday, Husband and I went for a long and quite strenuous hike at Hanging Rock State Park. It kicked my ass, but it felt so good to push myself physically. I was amazed at the things that went through my mind, the mental transitions from absolute dismay to acceptance to stubborn mind over body perserverance. I am not at my physical peak. I need to take steps to change this fact. I am not beating myself up over it because I did succeed; I made the summit. I just need to do things like that more often, even when it leaves me feeling like I do today--sore from the waist down. Mentally I feel refreshed, invigorated, ready to create! There is such a clarity there today that must have come from all the fresh air.

Wolf Rock was by far the most beautiful part of the hike. The outcropping of jagged granite pushed up into a 100 foot cliff face overlooking the Piedmont let Husband and I see for nearly 100 miles! Sadly, the view further was obscured by haze, smog and other wonders of the Eastern Seaboard. I could imagine what it must have been like to come upon this place hundreds of years ago, before human settlement, and see nothing but pine and chesnut forests for hundreds of miles. I doubt you could see the Atlantic with the naked eye, but with a spyglass, you just might. We lunched on a hearty trailmix before descending about 1000 feet and some miles to the car park at the visitor's center.

By the time we returned, I was craving some heavy protien, a sure sign that my muscles needed refurbishing. I had a nice 6-7 oz. filet of salmon atop clay-pot roasted lentils topped with a garnish of fried leeks and a dessert of goat cheese cheeesecake with black currant puree. Panzinella is the best restaraunt for a healthy and hearty meal in the winter. And because it is a part of the Weaver st. Co-Operative, everything is organic and anti-biotic free and, often, locally grown/raised. Rumor has it that one is planned to open up in Hillsborough before 2008. I'm very excited about this because it gives us an opportunity to marked our own garden goods to the town in a permanent location. Otherwise, we look to try to push some of our own organically grown produce and herb overages at the Hillsborough Farmer's Marked sometime this summer.

Tonight, I'm meeting with Don for the first time in the New Year. We've got new music to share and to write, having both been inspired by the holiday break. I can't wait to sit down and musically re-acquaint.

Time: 11:02 a.m. EST
Date: 03 January 2006
Reading: Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography by Dominic Grossan
Hearing: Nothing Like the Sun... by Sting
Inspiration: A Blank Slate

Entry: "Rock Steady"

Happy New Year to those of you who observe the Jasonian calendar! Here's hoping that 2006 is the best year for you yet!

As for myself, I've been working hard on my "resolutions" for the last two months. Spiritual work abounds, and now I feel ready to begin again the physical work I've put off for too long. How many years have I said "I'm going to loose weight?" Too many to count, but I have already begun the process, started the road to myself. I'm already loosing weight, and now it is time for the spiritual workout to transcend onto this body. I'm being good to myself, no pressure. It will all find its way in time.

I've also recommitted myself to writing. I belong to a writer's community on MSN and have renewed my dedication there, in both critiquing the work of my peers and posting work of my own. Just today I posted two poems based on a list of ten words suggested by another member. Those sort of practice pieces are just what I need to be doing every day, keeping my quill inked so that I'm ready when the big metaphors come. I have plans to reread the three chapters of my novel and see whether they are worth keeping (having been two years on the shelf), or if I should begin again, posting interludes as I go for critique by this group of international writers who have, many of them, published.

My other dedication has been to practice music more consistantly. This should not be too difficult in the coming year. I've established ties with a local musician who plays folk and composes his own music. We sound good together, our songwriting styles meshing seamlessly. We have big ideas for a co-op of sorts, somewhere where musicians can feel comfortable jamming, auditioning songs for critique and even collaboration. Later in the year, another of my musical brothers, and a brother in spirit, James, will be joining us here in NC. This excites and scares me. James is very dedicated to making music his career. He wants me there with him. I want to make it happen, but I still have doubts about whether it is the right career for me. I want to continue with my academic studies, and write. Music, especially songwriting, is not counterintuitive to this avenue. I simply hope to find time for both.

I remember when I was nineteen, working a full-time job as a department manager at a local electronics boutique, working part-time at a local costume shop, attending community college full-time, and helping wherever and whenever I could with a group of friends who made movies. I had no car. I had what seemed like no free time. Yet I managed to get everything done, keep good grades, AND have a social life. I was writing proficiently and prolifically, I was not struggling financially. I wonder what would happen if I tried to play that sort of time management game now, at thirty? It makes me look back in awe. As messed up in the head as I was then, I somehow managed it all. Ah, youth.

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